Title: Alternate
Hilarities
Author: an
Anthology
Genre: Science Fiction
/ Horror / Humor
Synopsis:
A collection of Alien Invasions and Abductions, Time Travel,
Ghost Ships, Demonic Possessions, Flatulent Clowns, Body Switching, Talking
Monkeys and Feghoots.
That's right, Feghoots.
Google it.
Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror and Hilarities for all!
Some of
the stories in Alternate Hilarities:
Attack of Ye Olde Zombies
by Cathy Greco
And, thus, the world ends… not with a bang… not with a whimper…
but with the mournful cry of an off-key bagpipe playing an undead reel, and the
sad, sad sight of deflated codpieces never to be filled.
1-800-CALL-GOD by Chuck
Rothman
Help is just a phone call away...
Adrift by Dan Doerflein
In life, he sailed the high seas with his pirate crew. All he
wanted in death was to sail the seas again. Before he can escape his situation
and obtain the afterlife he dreamed of, he must first defeat a pirate’s worst
enemy: a bureaucrat.
The Princess and the
Witch by Isabel Sterling
Marisa only wanted one thing for Halloween: the ancient magic
she possessed in a past life. She’d prepared for this ritual for years, and
nothing could get in her way. Except, perhaps, her sorority girl roommate.
The Muse and the
Psychiatrist by M. Kelly Peach
She was divinely beautiful, a daughter of Zeus with a serious
problem. She needed a qualified and caring psychiatrist, with talent and
experience, to help her. Little did she know he had his own agenda…
Upgrades by Daniel
McPherson
Software updates. Sometimes they install cool new features.
Other times they screw up your entire system. Which really sucks when the
software is running inside your head.
The Great Abyss
Disjunction by Danielle N. Gales
When Gregory Artifex became lighthouse keeper of the
multiverse's loneliest dark corner, all he wanted was a little peace and quiet.
The triggerfish, however, had different ideas. Gregory is about to have a very
bad day.
The Bombastic Adventure
of Bob from Planet 9 by Jaimie M. Engle
Bob and Melvin sit at Flo’s Intergalactic Greasy Spoon on the
Tuesday the joint is held-up by two symmetrical beings called ‘humans’. Melvin
accidentally disintegrates and Bob seeks revenge. But a visit to His Greatness
on Planet 9 may change everything.
Do Flatulent Clowns Smell
Funny by John H. Dromey
“Emission Possible” at the circus. The gastric suspense is
intense. Will there be comic relief?
Dead Right, Dead Wrong By
Ronald Friedman
The active Dead are not much different than the rest of us,
although they can bore you to tears with stories about how they died. As the
number of Dead increased they emerged from the shadows and became politically
active. Their party, Dead Americans Mobilizing for National Integration and
Tolerance (DAMNIT), was ready to field a candidate for the office of President
of the United States.
Language Barrier by Steve
Esling
"Mit-choo "Mitch" Maru is Tenerelli and
Associate's first Titanian accountant! But his progress in breaking social
barriers and becoming more than just a "token alien" comes to a halt
after a sticky situation in the bathroom with a coworker. Will the skills he
learned in his college English courses be enough to tell others about this
unfortunate close encounter?"
Small Change by Steven
Grassie
Miserable and almost broke, as per usual Paul’s in the pub
drowning his sorrows. His evening takes a strange turn, however, when he
encounters an interesting, if rather implausible, individual… who might just
have the answer to his problems.
Cash on Delivery by Laura
Thurston
When you absolutely, positively have to have had it already call
Einstein Express, where hindsight is the same as foresight.
Overdue by Jay Fuller
When the librarian can flay your mind as easily as she can gut
you, very little will stand between her and an overdue library book – even a
powerful (and generally disagreeable) wizard. And what if the book wants a say
in the matter?
Diary of an Overlord by
Clay Sheldon
Villagers are terrified, heroes quake in their boots, and the
world fears his very name. Witness the origin of a terrifying(ish) demon lord.
But be warned:not everything is as it seems...
Thorkwald and the Cherub
by Day Al-Mohamed
The adventures of a misfit demon and his struggle to succeed, or
at least not get fired (literally) in Hell’s corporate world. With the help of
his trusty minion, an eight-legged llama, and his Ctrl-Alt-Smite button, what
could go wrong?
Chicken Soup for the
Demonically Possessed Soul by Felicia Lee
In this heartwarming tale of loss, redemption, and best
practices for web design, we follow Al, a promising young man in the prime of
his life, as he faces down the demons of unethical competitors and, well,
actual demons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buy the
Book:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Review:
I was given this book by author for honest review. Aptly titled as these shorts were hilarious. Laughed my way through the book from beginning to end. Something for everyone from aliens to zombies and much more in between.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About
the Editor:
Giovanni Francesco Valentino has struggled at the art of writing
for four decades against many demons like self-doubt, chronic depression, OCD
and severe dyslexia. He has written a few memoir pieces about his life
struggles going undiagnosed for more the half his life. He hopes one day to be
a famous published science fiction and fantasy author.
He is a member of the CNY Writers Haven, a critique and writer support group. He is the editor of the upcoming humorous anthology, Alternate Hilarities.
He is a member of the CNY Writers Haven, a critique and writer support group. He is the editor of the upcoming humorous anthology, Alternate Hilarities.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blurb:
Along time ago in a city
in central New York ....
Alternate Hilarities
Episode 1
Back from the Dead
Alternate Hilarities
Episode 1
Back from the Dead
In the early nineties, a man had a dream. A dream of funny
stories in his favorite genres, Science fiction, Fantasy and Horror. Not just a
joke at the end of the episode like the original Star Trek or the occasional
gem from Douglas Adams, but all the time.
So the small press fan-zine, Alternate Hilarities was born. Six
issues were produced against his ex-wife's express wishes.
And they were terrible!
And they were terrible!
Just Terrible!
The first issue was a simple photocopy print job. He moved up
offset printing by the second issue, 11 by 17 paper, folded over and saddle
stitched with glossy cover. It looked semi professional but proofing was not
his strong suit. He had no funds to hire a proof reader and let's face it,
volunteers suck.
But the stories were great. Many talented authors sent in great
funny stories. With concepts like games show in the afterlife, the last man
alive and the secret life of a teenaged mad scientist.
But in the end, the cost of publishing his pet project became
too much and the zine was retired.
Now, two decades later, the overhead and distribution issues of
the small press have almost disappeared with the advent of eBooks. With a new
partner in crime who can do line edits, with a professional level understanding
of spelling, grammar and punctuation, the man decided to give his old love a
second shot.
So, here it is, The New and Improved Alternate Hilarities. We
have Alien invasions and Abductions, Time Travel, Ghost Ships, Demonic
Possessions, Flatulent Clowns, Body Switching, Talking Monkeys and Feghoots.
That's right, I said Feghoots.
Google it.
So off we go. With Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror and
Halitosis for all!
Halitosis? WTF? I mean Polarity?
Not Again! I mean H I l a r I t y?
Damn AutoCorrect!
Here are something people
may or may not have said about Alternate Hilarities:
“The Funniest Thing I’ve Ever Eaten!”
- Unnamed Member of Book Eaters Anonymous
- Unnamed Member of Book Eaters Anonymous
“Not a book I would ever read”
- The New York Times
- The New York Times
“Will you please mow your lawn? Please”
- My Next Door Neighbor (on both sides)
- My Next Door Neighbor (on both sides)
“I can’t read!”
- President of the SHITTER, the Society Helping illiterates with Technology, Tolerance and Extra Resources.
- President of the SHITTER, the Society Helping illiterates with Technology, Tolerance and Extra Resources.
“I hate Sauerkraut!”
- ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic
- ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic
With Stories by ….
Aaron Austin - Adam
Millard - Brenda Anderson
Cathy Greco - Christine Edwards - Dan Doerflein - Daniel McPherson
Danielle Gales - Doug Engstrom - Evan Dicken - Felicia Lee
Gavin Cruickshank - Giovanni Valentino - Jaimie M. Engle - James E. Guin
Jason Bougger - Jay Fuller - Jez Patterson - John H. Dromey
Josh Strnad - Lance Manion - M. Kelly Peach - Ronald Friedman
Sam Adams - Shari L Klase - Steve Esling - Steven Grassie
And Leader of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Frances I *
Cathy Greco - Christine Edwards - Dan Doerflein - Daniel McPherson
Danielle Gales - Doug Engstrom - Evan Dicken - Felicia Lee
Gavin Cruickshank - Giovanni Valentino - Jaimie M. Engle - James E. Guin
Jason Bougger - Jay Fuller - Jez Patterson - John H. Dromey
Josh Strnad - Lance Manion - M. Kelly Peach - Ronald Friedman
Sam Adams - Shari L Klase - Steve Esling - Steven Grassie
And Leader of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Frances I *
• This story is only
included in the version you don’t have right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About
the Publisher:
Strange Musings Press
We are a small publisher founded and run by two authors with a
variety of skills and talents. Visit ourStaff page
for more information about who we are.
Currently, Strange Musings Press is strictly an e-publisher
of anthologies: Alternate Hilarities , Romantic Ruckus, and Alternate Hilarities 2 - Vampires Suck . We
DO NOT accept or publish stand alone stories, novels, or novellas at this time
so please don't query us for those. We'll send you a humorous and snarky
rejection letter.
The goal of these anthologies is to help aspiring authors get
published and to have fun. Everything we do here is in the spirit of humor. If
we offend you in any way, well, we probably don't care =)
Take a moment to look around and submit a story or two if you'd
like. Got questions? Got a joke you want to tell us? Want to tell us how
awesome we are? Stand in line and send us an email at: strangemusings.editor@verizon.net.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And
now...THE GIVEAWAY!!!
Your chance to win a $50, $25, or $10 Amazon
Giftcard!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*This
blog tour is sponsored by Making Connections.*
Thanks for the great review.
ReplyDeleteGiovanni Valentino.
Strange Musings Press